Bridget Jones's Diary (And Other Writing) by Helen Fielding

Author:Helen Fielding
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Pan Macmillan

Friday 15 September

9st, alcohol units 0, cigarettes 4 (v.g.), calories 3222 (British Rail sandwiches hideously impregnated), minutes spent imagining speech will make when resigning from new job 210.

Ugh. Hateful conference with bully-boss Richard Finch going, ‘Right. Harrods one-pound-a-pee toilets. I’m thinking Fantasy Toilets. I’m thinking studio: Frank Skinner and Sir Richard Rogers on furry seats, armrests with TV screens, quilted loo paper. Bridget, you’re Dole Youths Clampdown. I’m thinking the North. I’m thinking Dole Youths, loafing about, live down the line.’

‘But . . . but . . .’ I stammered.

‘Patchouli!’ he shouted, at which point the dogs under his desk woke up and started jumping about and barking.

‘Wha’?’ yelled Patchouli above the din. She was wearing a crocheted midi-dress with a floppy straw hat and an orange Bri-nylon saddle-stitched blouse on top. As if the things I used to wear in my teens were a hilarious joke.

‘Where’s the Dole Youths OB?’

‘Liverpool.’

‘Liverpool. OK, Bridget. OB crew outside Boots in the shopping centre, live at five thirty. Get me six Dole Youths.’

Later, as I was leaving to get the train, Patchouli yelled casually, ‘Oh yeah, like, Bridget, it’s not Liverpool, it’s, like, Manchester, right?’

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